The image below represents how I would like to see all families going out for a walk. Everyone is connected, holding hands. In this way it is easy to know where all members of the family are and the family is acting as a unit.
Setting the scene
A few days ago, I was out on my morning walk when I noticed a family also going for a walk. What struck me was very different family arrangement for their walk than the one shown in the image above. The parents were walking in the front. The mom was pushing a stroller. I could not see if there was a child or baby in the stroller. A good number of paces behind the parents was a little boy of 2-and-half to 3-years-old. Much further back, was the little one.
The youngest looked like a toddler of around a year old. From the way he walked it was apparent that he had only recently mastered walking. The confusing point was that this little one was having to take up the rear, all on his own. I thought of an incident when I was about 9 years old and was helping a friend towards the back on a school mountain walk. Someone further forward had decided it would be fun to tell us the wrong fork in the road to take. With no adult behind us to give the correct directions, we took a wrong turn and the result was rather scary for a good number of hours.
Knowing the potential dangers I watched the little one. As I gradually rounded the corner to come up behind them, still quite a distance behind, the little one toppled and fell face down. Thankfully, he did not hit his face but he did cry out as he obviously got a fright. The brother gradually turned and took a few moments before he began to walk in the direction of his little brother. All the while the parents were busily chatting up front. Slowly but surely they must have realized that their sons were not with them. The children were not even close any longer. Eventually the parents turned to look but neither ran to help their toddler.
As I got closer, I picked up the little one, brushed him down and gave him some encouragement as I sent him back to Mom. As I did so, I thought of the lessons to be learned from this incident that happened while on our morning walk.
Three important lessons
- No matter what fun it might be in nature, if you are a parent think safety. Keep your children within your visual field. That means either next to you holding your hand, in the stroller that you are pushing or slightly in front of you. For security reasons on many levels, don’t leave little one way back behind you.
- What kind of parent are you striving to be? Remember, every experience sends a message to your children whether or not you say anything in words. There are a few messages that this scenario could have given the toddler. The first obvious one is when you progress in life’s journey, when you fall as happens in life, be the man and get yourself up, make your own way back to your family for only your brother will come to your assistance and even then wont help you up. The second is that you are expected to be independent even as a toddler. The third is to have to wait for a stranger to help you up. Thank G-d in this case the stranger was a caring therapist but not all strangers are. The truth is that all parents need to be careful when it comes to strangers. All kinds of sad stories are told regarding children that have happened in a split second. Don’t take a chance. Make sure you can see your children at all times.
- Take a few moments to think of what other messages you could give. Why not remember that little one is, after-all, only a toddler. He is really still a baby and babies need our help. So why not show your love for your child and if he falls, as he is likely to, run over, pick him up, brush him down. Give him a big hug and tell him you love him and not to worry about the fall. What message would you then be giving your child? That no matter what, you are there for him as a loving parent. You will help him up, give him the support and love that he needs and encourage him on his way again or carry him until he is able to walk once more. He is, after all, still just a baby but every experience helps him to internalize to what extent he is loved and cherished and supported by those who matter most, his immediate family.
Do you enjoy going for a morning walk? What kind of lessons have you learned while out walking? What message(s) do you glean from the scene that we witnessed? Where do you have your children when you go out for a walk? Let us know in the comments below.