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How to Help One’s Mother to be a Happy Mom

Rosemary Kahn with some of her books

This post combines some thoughts on helping one’s mother to be a happy mom, as well as helping YOU to be a happy mom. How do they combine?

Have you ever taken the time to find out what your mother’s goals and dreams are? Do you know if she has a bucket list and if so what is on that list? Many a time we set our own goals and help our children to identify what they need or want to achieve. But when one is an adult, it is easy to let life slip by and not ask one’s mother what her goals are.

That is a real shame. Everyone misses out if you don’t ask your mother what she would still like to achieve in her lifetime. Let me show you an example and then we will link this once more to your being  –  a happy mom.

I would like to introduce my own mother and to share a goal or dream she has. Within her dream is a goal to help you with achieving an important task for your children to achieve. You see, my mother is a retired teacher who loves to write. Her favourite topic or genre is children’s books. This of course is where you come in.

Firstly, let us look at my mother’s love of writing children’s books. Not just any children’s books, mind you. But quality books. Books that are well thought out. Written with enough care and attention to detail that they even become part of children’s literature. In deed, her first children’s picture book was studied through UNISA as part of their course on children’s literature. This is because my mother believes that children deserve the very best of books. Her books take into consideration the needs of a child in order to help them to develop a love of reading.

What is the importance of reading? Well, reading enables us to learn. It opens the door to gain ideas, information and knowledge. Through this we can begin to formulate concepts, ideas of our own and to gain control of our thinking. The more one reads, the more one is able to master concepts, absorb information and become an expert in any given topic.

Most mothers want their children to succeed and hence, any normal mother will be happy to hear that there is a way to help their child not just to read but to develop a love of reading. How does one take the jump from reading when one has to, to actually loving reading?

Well, one of the first steps is by reading books that are quality. Books that have beautiful, peaceful images or illustrations. Books that contain topics that are meaningful and will enable our children to learn the kind of topics that will result in their striving to have a successful, well balanced, happy and healthy life.

My mother is well aware of the sadly popular books that are filled with dark themes. Sad because these themes are not in keeping with teaching our children the kind of values and mindset that will result in their wanting a peaceful and successful world. My mother’s books, on the other hand, are beautiful, peaceful, meaningful and quite delightful.

Introducing Some of the Books Written by Rosemary Kahn

Take a look for yourself at a short video I have put together to help you to gain some insight into her books. Please note, the video shows just 4 of her at least 13 books. The school readers that she wrote were part of helping children for whom English is their second language and are not available to me.

So what does this have to do with you? Well, my mother has at least 20 manuscripts that are currently unpublished. She has a goal to bring as many of these to print. In this way they will be available for parents or teachers to purchase and children to enjoy. You can assist by joining in her campaign in order to cover expenses such as illustrations, quality illustrations of course, editing, formatting and marketing the books.

As you will see in the video, two of her books are currently out of print. By self-publishing, we can ensure that these books stay in print. As a result, they can be enjoyed by many more children, for many more years to come.

So if you have a goal for your child to develop a love of reading, here’s an invitation to help them to do so. You can encourage your children to love reading by assisting quality children’s books to come into being. It is always exciting to be a part of an important project. Even more so when one knows that the project will, in turn, help your own children.

So join in the fun of assisting my mother to achieve her dream and in the process, you can achieve one big step in the process towards being a happy mom yourself.

How I Feel About Becoming a Mother and Why it’s Important to Know

Three Images of a Women in Phases to Becoming a Mother

How do YOU feel about becoming a mother? Have you ever stopped to give this question much attention? Let’s face it, most little girls play with dolls and pretend to be a mother. But, how many consider what becoming a mother is actually like?

For a child it seems fun to push a stroller around with a doll, teddy bear or other toy inside it. A child might even strap a doll or teddy bear to herself just like adult mommies do when involved in baby-wearing.  Bathing and dressing a doll is part of many little girls imaginative play. It seems like fun when one is a child but it’s quite a different story when one becomes an adult or when the situation of becoming a mother actually arises in our lives.

How many of us stop to ask the question: “How do I feel about becoming a mother?” It is actually a powerful and important question to ask and loaded with all kinds of possibilities. After all, a real live baby can not just be placed in her stroller and forgotten for hour or days. A baby requires constant care and attention. Of course there is no right or wrong answer, there is just what you feel. However, the answers can help to direct you in many ways and these insights are important. Let us take a look at this further.

What is the purpose of asking yourself how you feel about becoming a mother?

Asking this question helps you:

  1. To decide whether motherhood is suitable to you and whether you are suitable to motherhood.
  2. To identify and accept whether you are old enough to become a mother. I am not talking physically as that depends on when your cycle begins but rather emotionally and in terms of maturity, your stage in life and more. e.g. although some children have become mother’s, it is not the ideal age or stage of life to become a mother
  3. To identify any fears you might have. This enables you to work with the fears.
  4. To identify any problem areas that need to be addressed.
  5. If you are working on fertility, asking yourself this question might help to identify what might be blocking your becoming a mother
  6. To help you to transition through this process with greater ease, clarity and enjoyment

Can you think of any other benefits to asking this question?

Let us consider the question from another angle.

How can You Find the Answers?

If you take a look at the image at the top of the post for a moment, notice how many changes take place to the body of the woman. Think about the hormonal changes and consider how these might affect you. As a result of identifying your knowledge about your body, you will discover what you need to learn. If you have questions, then you can read up on what hormonal changes will take place. Or ask appropriate people such as your mother, doctor, biology teacher. This helps you to be better prepared when navigating the journey from discovering you are pregnant to holding that bundle of joy in your arms.

Take a look at the image in the middle. Are you ready for the responsibility of taking care of a new life? Do you know how to take care of a baby or how to guide someone through their life? Since becoming a mother necessitates taking care of a new born, it is important that you learn the skills that will enable you to do so most effectively. This will mean  learning about baby development and how to handle a new born. Consequently you will be meeting the goal of becoming a happy mother.

Becoming a mother is really quite a responsibility. We do not receive a guide book of how to be an effective parent. However, the good news is that there are many tools and resources available today. By asking yourself how you really feel about becoming a mother you can prepare yourself for this process. You can identify where you might need some help and then set to work to find that assistance. Whether you need information, support or to find the right team to help you to have a positive birth experience, being honest with answering this question can help you to identify your areas of need.

In conclusion, you can identify what your needs are by asking yourself: “How do I feel about becoming a mother?”. This will enable you to plan accordingly. I would recommend writing down your answers and then setting them aside. After a few days or even weeks, revisit this question. Note any changes or developments in your thoughts and feelings. You can even do a mind-map or some brainstorming on the topic.

If you are in Israel, and having any difficulty in answering this question or in clarifying for yourself why asking this question is important, please do be in touch. The services offered through this website are set up to assist you to make this transition as smooth and joyous as possible.

What are your thoughts about becoming a mother? What are your feelings about becoming a mother? You are welcome to share in the comments below.

With blessings

 

Simplify Your Rosh HaShanah Preparations

Rosh HaShanah Greeting

There is much to do in preparing for Rosh HaShanah. One can of course prepare from the start of the new year until the following year, by setting suitable goals and working systematically towards them. Many have goals, others need help to develop them.

Some work on their goals all year round, others leave preparing for Rosh HaShanah until the month of Elul. Still others might not realise the full meaning of Rosh HaShanah and hence do not prepare or prepare very little.

The truth is, that there is much to prepare for. On the basic physical level, Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year is a day to spend both in prayer and enjoying delicious meals with one’s family and friends. Since we are not permitted to do work on Yom Tov there is preparation to be done. Rosh HaShanah is a two day festival and this year it is followed directly by Shabbat. That means we have 3 days to prepare for.

Continue reading “Simplify Your Rosh HaShanah Preparations”

Eclip, the Answer to Remembering Your Baby

image of a baby in pink hat

There is something very special about babies. Babies are cute, babies are funny, babies are precious, babies are our future. And yet, more and more in recent years one hears of the tragic news of a baby forgotten. Forgotten in a hot car. Forgotten in a store. Forgotten in a bank. Forgotten in the heat outdoors while the one who was with them goes visiting or doing some other task.

People get involved in conversations. They get involved in their phone,  I-phone or tablet. They get involved with social networking and they get distracted. The modern life is so full of demands on us on all different levels that people struggle to pay attention to what is important.

People also tend to overload themselves and with this at times comes sleep deprivation. One consequence of sleep deprivation can be forgetfulness.

It’s one thing to think the baby is forgotten for a few moments and all is well. However, from 1998 – 2017 the average number of children who die from being forgotten in a hot car is 37 a year in the US. Some may say that’s not very many, especially when compared to those who died in motor vehicle accidents where numbers are in the thousands. However, this year, 2017 has already seen 31 children die in a hot car.  If we consider that every person saved is like saving a world, that is 31 too many children who have left this world in such a manner.

The good news is, you no longer need to risk your memory failing you. Certainly not when it comes to the safety of your baby. If you have a car and take your baby in the car, there is now a device available to provide invaluable information. This device called “eClip“, has been designed by Elepho Inc. It works by connecting to your Smart Phone. But don’t give up if you have no Smart Phone. The device / App also connects via Blue Tooth to your key chain.

 

What an ingenious invention. There is no longer an excuse. Busy parents or caregivers no longer have to run the risk of forgetting their precious bundle in the car or in the stroller. Watch the video above and make sure you keep up to date as to where you can obtain your eclip. If you own a car, or even if you don’t and you have a baby and stroller, do yourself a favour and invest in this App. You can receive important information that helps you to stay focused on the needs of that precious baby.

This post is prepared for you by

Shoshanah Shear

Occupational Therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer, author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom“.

 

Sourcing Clients for Freelance Writing

Sourcing Clients

I have had quite a few ask me “how do you find or source clients for writing jobs?”

That’s an excellent question. One of the hardest challenges about being a freelancer is the constant need to find new clients. Here are a few of the ways that can help in sourcing clients.

Firstly, I must say that if anyone wishes to get into freelance writing, Bamidele Onibalusi gives a wonderful strategy in his thread of how to earn $1000.

The truth is that you can learn everything you need from those who have mastered freelance writing such as Bamidele. However, I’ll share a few of my tactics too.

Lists of blogs, websites or magazines that pay

Firstly I spent a lot of time scouring the various lists of blogs or websites that pay writers. There are quite a number of writing websites that offer these lists. Bamidele has one that he calls the Ultimate List of Magazines that pays writers. 

Another good website to follow is Make A Living Writing. On this website, Carol Tice offers lots of tips, including a list of websites that pay

There are some other sites too. The truth is that I don’t have a lot of time to just read websites. Google and Yahoo searches should bring quite a few ideas or links of websites that offer tips about earning as a freelance writer.

Job boards

The next step is to visit job boards. I have applied to quite a number of jobs via ProBlogger job board. Once again, do a google search for other job boards or visit Bamidele’s website where he lists a number of them.

I have a profile on Upwork. It’s worth taking the time to set up your profile correctly, filling out all the sections and doing some of the tests.

Social Networking

I also interact in a number of professional groups and writing groups.

It’s a lot of work, and no guarantee of work, but so very worth it when the work comes in.

My latest personal challenge is to source blogs and websites that relate to my niche area and to master the cold pitching that the successful freelance writers talk about.

Conclusion

I hope this gives a little insight. It is by no means the comprehensive list, but then I am still mastering securing good clients. What I would say is keep at it! The strategy set out for sourcing clients by Bamidele and other’s like Carol Tice are already established. I see no need to re-invent the wheel. As a result, I follow what they suggest doing and add ideas whenever I find something that meets my goals and writing niche.

Pitching does get easier the more you do it. Sourcing clients get’s easier too. I wish you the best of luck in sourcing your writing clients. If you have any good tips that would help other readers, please share in the comments below.

This post is prepared for you by Shoshanah Shear , occupational therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer, author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom“.

 

 

 

Finding the Right Path that Leads to Independence

Finding a Path

Occupational Therapy is all about independence. Independence in all areas of our lives and this includes financial independence. The contents of this post deals with a topic that is important for anyone wishing to live their life to the full. That is finding the right path that will enable you to obtain independence.

In a previous post, I mentioned a book I have written about my personal and professional journey with a chronic illness. While writing the book, I wished to use certain quotes from other works and met some interesting people in applying for permission. One of them was the then director of the Chofetz Chaim Foundation. Writing this I wonder whether my desire to share about the importance of guarding one’s tongue has provided some blessing to unravelling a journey. Very possibly, in the meantime, join me to meet some incredible role models.

Introducing 5 of my Role Models

After completing writing the manuscript, I began searching for a publisher. Along the journey I thought I had also completed a second book that would help to promote OT. Frustrated with rejection after rejection I turned to the director of the Chofetz Chaim Foundation and he suggested meeting Bob Burg in order to find out about self-publishing.

I am so delighted that I did. Bob Burg has become a friend and role model. From our email interaction he shared about his book Endless Referrals. He also shared about a mindset that he mastered which has helped him to become successful as an author and motivational speaker. I’ve remained in touch with Bob over the years and so delighted that I have. I learn so much from his positive FB posts and inspiring work.

When I moved to Israel, I thought I had a perfect plan. I had mapped out a path to master Hebrew, obtain my license, get work in my field and then gradually develop a private practice and move on to develop my dream centre. I have been amazed by how many try to dissuade one and encourage or even force one into minimum wage work. As I strove to find a path that would enable me to obtain the financial independence I require in order to establish my centre, I have come to know several who are my role models. They paint a very different picture to those who promote minimum wage at all costs.

The next one was Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income. I find it so inspiring that after he was retrenched from a good position as an architect, Pat went on to learn and master everything he could about passive income. He teaches every step of the way how to develop not just passive income but smart passive income. Since we had tried to set up an affiliate store without success and dabbled in a few other options too, having someone willing to teach and share all he learns has been wonderful. I very much appreciate the respectful, positive newsletters that he sends out too.

There have been a number of OTs and PTs who have been inspiring too. One who has become a tremendous support is Scott Harmon. Scott is an OT who has a successful private practice and yet gives of himself through his website Start a Therapy Practice, helping other OTs to develop a private practice too. I’m so excited to see that he has also added his Academy something I wish was around when I wanted to get into working privately. These tools help OTs to find the right path to becoming successful private practitioners.

The next profession who has helped drive home the importance of the right focus is a psychologist by the name of Ramit Sethi. Ramit wrote a book I Will Teach You To be Rich. He has a few programs which help one to get from nothing to earning a thousand dollars, on the side or as one’s income. I love Ramit’s very direct approach and the way he so cleverly demonstrates that you cant purchase a house by eliminating cafe latte. This is playing with small money. What a person needs is to aim for earning correctly and this includes more per hour.

A very inspiring role model for me is Bamidele Onibalusi, Bamidele has a website Writers In Charge. I love that concept! Bamidele wanted to find the right means to earn what he needed when he was still a teenager. How I wish there were computers in my day. Well, Bamidele mastered how to earn from freelance writing. Like the others above, he does not keep this to himself, neither does he consider that anyone should earn a minimum wage. A year ago, Bamidele began a challenge to help those who wish to earn from freelance writing to learn what it takes to earn $1000 in 60 days. His newsletters are also so inspiring, respectful and filled with encouraging words and strategies to earn effectively.

Conclusion

Having spent a few years learning from these wonderful, inspiring entrepreneurs, there are a few lessons I wish to highlight. If you wish to gain financial independence, you need to find the right path. Do whatever it takes to search for the right teachers and role models who will help you to learn that you do not have to remain stuck in minimum wage and NO-ONE should ever tell you to be happy struggling. There is another way. It takes work and effort and that comes from developing the right mindset, developing the right map. In order to help you to develop your map requires setting appropriate goals and suitable strategies to help you to reach your goal. All of these details help you to develop the right path that will help you to reach success.

This post is prepared for you by Shoshanah Shear, occupational therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer, author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom“.

 

The Need to Help Widows

Black and White Image of a widow sitting next to a wall

While some erroneously look down on the widow, helping widows is important enough to be mentioned in Tanach. This false belief was highlighted once again in a message sent to me in response to my latest campaign. The campaign is all about assisting a widow. I am sad that anyone would have such thoughts. So I decided to share a little more about my work assisting widows and orphans. Yes, widows do have very real needs.

Did you know that I am working on developing an OT centre? Well, one of the services of this centre focuses on empowering widows and orphans, according to their own unique needs.

Background to my work with widows and orphans

Actually, helping widows and orphans is not something new for me. It has been an interest of mine for very many years for a few reasons:

1) My grandmother was widowed when she was half way into her pregnancy with my late father, i.e. 4 1/2 months. As a child I did not really understand what a widow is. However, the needs of the widow began to be etched into who I am from a very young age.

2) I was orphaned from my father, who, as you can see from number 1 was born without a father. I was still at school when my father died suddenly.

3) My mother was widowed from her second husband during my first year of working as an OT.

These experiences sensitized me to the needs of widows and orphans. As a result, in recent years, they have become part of the services I am developing. Yes, real services. Let’s take a look at this a little further.

Some of the Services of my Centre

I am working on develop an OT centre. The nature of services to be offered in the centre have changed over time until I came to focus on the services mentioned in this website. These service focus on assisting women in the role of wife and mother. Some of the women are blessed with being married, G-d willing for many healthy years. Others are widows. The widows have certain needs and those who are orphans have other needs. These needs have to be addressed. It is not only my idea to empower widows and orphans, the need to assist widows and orphans is outlined in many places in Tanach. Here is just one example:

“כל אלמנה ויתום לא תענון”

All or every widow and orphan do not oppress (Exodus 22:21)

In an earlier post, I have introduced some ideas about Occupational Therapy and Widows.

Creating the right environment and being able to meet the needs that I have identified requires funding. For quite a few years I tried developing a store based on the concept of the thrift store or op shop. As you can see in the video below, we collected up new, un-used items, some of which went to begin the home of orphans and some were sold in order to cover the expenses of setting this up.

Sadly, our sales were not well enough supported. One of the biggest problems was the extent to which buyers insisted on undercutting our prices. When we moved a little over a year ago, we lacked the funds to both move our store and to house our store. As a result we sent over 40 boxes of gifts to an orphanage in Jerusalem. The result was that at least 7-8 Kallot who were orphans had a substantial start to their new home.

Another service we had been setting up is our bridal gown Gemach. Sadly, due to lack of funds, we are having to sell off and close this service too. However, we have not given up. We have merely changed to a different business structure.

Changes to our Services

Our new venture can be seen on our online store.  As you can see from the start of our new store, instead of collecting unwanted items and selling them at low prices, we are working on making up a range of gifts and selling them at proper prices. Some of these gifts come from my own art, others will be made by widows and orphans in order to help to give them the start in becoming self-sufficient.

Learning from other Programs to help Widows

For those who still like to judge me, let us take a look at some wonderful work happening in the US by widows helping widows.

If you have watched the above video, you will come across a powerful statement:

“Grief is not taboo and it is not contagious” ~ Audrey Pellicano RN MS

I hope to share further important work happening to strengthen widows and orphans. Both of these are very important.

I hope that by reading a little about the work I am involved in, that those who like to judge the fact that I am currently assisting a specific widow will begin to change their mind. Those who have suffered from the loss of a spouse or parent are not contagious. They have done nothing wrong and they are in deed in need of our help.

This post is written by Shoshanah Shear, occupational therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom” and author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story

What is the Purpose of This Website?

Heart cut out of a bush

I have had quite a few questions about the goals of this website and the services that I offer. The truth is that there are a number of services that I offer and feature on this website and also quite a number of goals. For the background of how I came to develop a service that focuses on assisting women in the role of wife and mother I am actually completing writing an ebook. If this is of interest to you, please be in touch. You can let me know in the comments at the bottom of this blog post and also via the contact form on this website.

What I can say for now, is that I have a number of goals here. Each of them are equally important. In order to reach these goals has required much thought from my life experience, my work experience and from learning from various sources. Oh dear, does that sound vague? Not to worry, it will all become clear.

Let us take one snippet of this as our starting point, for now. When I was a second year student I had an idea to begin a treatment centre. Now in order to begin a treatment centre one has to identify the types of services that would be offered and also if there is a specific niche or angle to the centre. It’s been quite a journey to identify that niche, which is the topic of the ebook that I spoke about.

A few months after having this idea, I began to develop severe abdominal pain. The doctors did not do enough testing, they just opted for an appendectomy. Years later it turned out that I had chronic, recurrent kidney infections but the dear doctor wipped out my appendix. Did a nice job of stirring around to try to find anything else he would manage to. Actually, I suspect another potential problem. Before we get to that, I must mention that I also had a reaction to the anesthetic which had lasting effects.

A year later I was diagnosed with one infection after another including CMV. Eventually the doctors had the wonderful news that I had ME which stands for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.

So I had this dream of a treatment centre which meant completing my studies but I also had this chronic health problem that begged for attention. By the time I graduated, all my income went on paying off tuition, paying for health expenses, paying for regular daily expenses and then helping my mother who had become a widow.

The more I tried to do the regular normal things (like getting a regular 9-5 salaried job that would provide the income I needed to save and start to develop a private practice as the first step of my treatment centre) the more my health and my life threw me curve ball after curve ball.

The journey with my health is the topic of a book that is waiting to be edited just as soon as I earn enough to dedicate the time to edit it. Another book I have begun is my hard work in striving to become independent, working from home. So two topics that I aim to share information about through blog posts, youtube videos, workshops and other services lie in developing a healthy, balanced lifestyle and also in how to become successful working from home.

Around the time I wrote my book about my health, I also wrote a book to promote occupational therapy. This book was shelved for many reasons, for quite a number of years, until I decided the time had come to get that book out. That book is of course “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapists Story”. As I was busily editing this book and preparing it for publishing, I came across a few websites that have opened doors to an exciting new approach to working and to working from home.

In the next post, I would like to introduce you to 5 or more people who have had a major impact on this change in direction. I also aim to begin offering some resources on this website both as a resource page and as blog posts or other products. As I add each new feature, I will be writing about it in my  blog. So do come back to read more posts and find out about this journey. Some of it is exciting, some of it is filled with major challenges. Join me as I share about what I am doing or have done to help to overcome these challenges.

Visit the main page of my website and sign up for my newsletter. In the newsletter you will receive more information, tools, tips, discounts and other lovely goodies. While you are at it, please take a look at the main page and let me know what you like and what is confusing you. I’m in the process of improving this page, so your feedback will be really helpful.

This post is prepared for you by

Shoshanah Shear

Occupational Therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer, author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom“.

 

 

 

 

Parenting Tips For Divorced Mothers

Divorced family

I would love to have all of the posts on this blog targeted at developing and maintaining healthy marriages. It makes such a difference to the couple and the children to have the stability of a happy family. However, life is not always like that. Sadly in my years of working as an OT and even from my own experience, there are many times that divorce happens.

What does many mean? If you take a look at divorce statistics for the US, the figures are sadly on the increase. Wikipedia has an interesting chart of the marriage : divorce stats and ratio for different countries. Unfortunately the figures are not all from the same year, which does make a difference, however the range is from 4% to 67% of marriages ending in divorce.

In other posts and services offered on this website / blog I’d love to help with reducing those rates, especially for countries with the higher percentage rate. This post has another focus and that is how to handle a divorce if it happens.

Usually when a couple get married, their dream and goal is to build a home, start a family and stay together for the rest of their lives. If you have mastered some of that dream and sadly your marriage ends in divorce, the kindest thing you can do for your children is let that divorce be peaceful and don’t talk about it to your kids.

Remember, whatever transpired between you as a couple is not the fault of your children. So, don’t punish your kids for your getting divorced. What does that mean?

  • Don’t make your children feel guilty that you chose your spouse to marry. Your kids were not around when you decided to get married and your decision of who to marry is not their fault.
  • Don’t tell your children about any of the details of your marriage. Your relationship with the father of your children should be private.
  • If you are having a rough time coming to terms with getting divorced or having gone through a divorce, seek out a good support group and / or appropriate therapist to help you to come to terms with your life decisions. Your children are not your therapist and should not have to hear details or to experience any guilt associated with your getting divorced.
  • Make sure to do all that you can to have a peaceful relationship with the father of your children.
  • Do not put your ex-husband down to your children. At the end of the day he is still the father of your children and they have a right to have some respect for their father.
  • Make sure to have quality time with your kids.
  • Make sure to keep conversation to topics that are not related to the divorce.
  • However, if your child needs to express their difficulty with growing up in a broken home, be open to hearing them. If it is too hard for you, find the right extra mural activities, support group and therapy to help your child to heal from the situation and to continue to thrive.
  • Make sure that your child(ren) have the opportunity to maintain a good relationship with their father. Never make them feel angry with the father or guilty as this could result in the child not wanting to talk to their father.
  • Lastly, help your children to have time with kids their age and to develop good friends.

Remember, whatever happened to cause the divorce, all children need both parents. Please do what you can to make sure that your children can have a good relationship with both parents, even if there has been a divorce.

NOTE: In the event that there was abuse in the home, seek professional intervention to help you to develop the best situation to help your children.

This post is prepared for you by

Shoshanah Shear

Occupational Therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer, author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom“.

 

 

 

 

An Update on my Work with Orphans

Heart within a leaf photographed at the seaside

Recently I received a phone call from an orphan wanting certain free services that really fall into the area of a social worker. Yes, it is true that I have been running a service to empower orphans at the time they marry. However, the orphan who called is not getting married. I would like to point out two details:

1) This is specifically at the time they marry, I am not able to help all orphans, not in the capacity of Gemach anyway.
2) I am NOT a social worker.

The truth is that the Gemach I had begun made me aware of various needs for both widows and orphans. I am gradually researching these needs a bit further in order to develop a service that will meet those needs identified in research as well as through my work experience. The service is put on hold until such time as I have completed my research. In the meantime, what I can say is that, one of the sections I am very busily working on is how to develop and master sustainable income. That means an income that will enable one to be truly independent as opposed to earning a minimum wage and then having to constantly seek help every so often when one’s meager salary does not meet the demands of modern living.

When I have mastered certain aspects that I am currently working on, I aim to both write a book / ebook and to develop a course or a few courses. However, these are all under the umbrella of being an occupational therapist. For you see, occupational therapy is all about helping and enabling our clients to be as optimally independent in all areas of their life, as far as is possible, according to their unique set of circumstances. For someone who is an orphan, often, but not always, the area of work and earning a sustainable income is in major need of intervention.

Another important detail is that my services are not free. I work privately and as a result services, books and products have a fee / price tag. If anyone wishes to sponsor an orphan, they are welcome to be in touch.

For those who remember the service I had tried to set up, if you recall, I was developing a thrift store / bargain store with new, unwanted items that I sold to fund the service assisting orphans. Hence the expenses were to be subsidized when orphans could not pay full fees. I was also trying to add bridal gowns to rent, once again that the fee for renting a bridal gown would assist an orphan to have a bridal gown for her wedding day. My goal for that was to loan a bridal gown to a Kallah who was an orphan for free. Sadly I did not reach this goal and am currently having to sell off my bridal gowns. The expense of rent to house the gowns is adding up and not making a viable option. If I had enough people willing to purchase items or rent their gown from our bridal gowns, I could have been able to continue developing and growing this service. The only way I could reduce costs for orphans was to have others pay for gifts or bridal gowns.

Since so many have been eager to undercut my already reduced prices, I had to let go of my thrift store / bargain store and I am having to let go of my bridal gowns too. That means that any service that I offer to orphans from now on is a paid service, unless someone is kind enough to sponsor one or more sessions.

If you would like to learn more about what occupational therapy is, purchase your copy of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” or book me to give a talk to you and your group of friends. Talks are available in person for those in and around Jerusalem or virtually for any other group.

This post is prepared for you by

Shoshanah Shear, Occupational Therapist, healing facilitator, certified infant massage instructor, freelance writer, author of “Healing Your Life Through Activity – An Occupational Therapist’s Story” and co-author of “Tuvia Finds His Freedom“.